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Iowa Man Goes For A Drive Across Golf Course, Thought He Was In Des Moines

via Warren County Sheriff’s Office

Who hasn’t been ripped at a golf course at 2:50 p.m. on a Friday? Iowa Man Kim Baker was allegedly ripped last Friday when he (allegedly) went for a drive across a golf course in suburban Des Moines. There was some course damage, a woman who was traumatized and a course that needs repairs.

Worst time of year for this to happen. The club members are trying to get 36 in on a Friday. They’re pumped to get some nice hot weather. Pool is hopping at that time of the day. Members are getting LITT TF UP. There’s probably some skirt chasin’ going on and then this happens.

From the Des Moines Register:

A Waukee man has been arrested for harassment and criminal mischief after he allegedly drove his car on the green at the Echo Valley Golf Course in Norwalk, causing between $300 and $500 in damage.

According to police reports, Kim Baker, 49, of Waukee was arrested when officer Ben Lewiston was called to the golf course at 2:50 p.m. on June 8 about a man driving his car on the golf course and damaging the green.

Lewiston wrote in his report the driver “appeared to be intoxicated due to his unusual behavior and unsteady balance,” and he “admitted driving the vehicle and said he thought he was in Des Moines.”

Of course I put on my detective hat and went looking for this Kim Baker character to see what’s going on with his life. Turns out he posted on Facebook Friday morning before going for a drive on the golf course.

I did some Urban Dictionary/street lingo searches and I’ve found evidence that “paper” is drug slang for heroin or meth. Learned something new today. Had no idea. Not saying that’s what Kim is indicating here. Just a possibility.

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